Gifts that Keep on Giving

Ah. Christmas Eve Eve.

I should be freaking out that my Christmas cards were never manufactured this year. I should be freaking out that the fragrant aroma of the Douglas fir is emanating from a Glade candle. According to Martha Stewart, there is a whole list of things I should be freaking out about.

But I'm not.

This will be the first Christmas of my "New Normal". Circumstances have given me the opportunity to see the absolute meaning of Christmas clearly. This year wasn't about the Perfect Picture for the photo cards. It hasn't been about scoring the most popular toys or video games. For me, it's been about being grateful for what I have despite the challenges. In the midst of my New Normal, my blessings are sure and abundant. Jesus Christ's grace and mercy are the best gifts of all.

Sure makes macing someone over an X-Box or pair of Jordan's seem trivial. Well, those things are, actually.

To Kung Fu: Thanks for the Laughs, Love Julie Newmar

When "Kung Fu Panda 2" meets my little panda...

A Monster Hit!

Her face says it all.

Mariah was delighted with her extra special Birthday Cake this weekend. Icing Smiles, Inc., commissioned the Baltimore bakery, Cakes 2 A-T to create my Godzilla lover's ultimate treat.






Happy Birthday, Mariah. You totally deserved an Icing Smile this year and thank you Cakes 2 A-T for delivering it!

"Cakes 2 A-T", Fits 2 A-T

The local bakery graciously accepting the challenge from Icing Smiles,Inc., to design a dream cake for my dream middle child is none other than Cakes 2 A-T of Baltimore!

Icing Smiles, Inc., is a non-profit organization that coordinates with bakeries to provide Special Needs Families with Special Custom Cakes. (My friend's son is the little boy marveling at his fire-breathing dragon cake on the Icing Smiles homepage).

You can see Cakes 2 A-T's amazing work here. They have presented masterpieces to celebrities, children, weddings, showers - there seems to be no limit to their creativity.

We'll see their vision for Mariah's surprise "Godzilla" cake come to fruition next week. If their previous work is any indication, we should all be prepared: Run for your lives! It's GODZILLA!!!

I Understand

This song has been ministering to my heart ~ its words getting down into my spirit. Restoring my soul.

Status Quo

Sharon went from being "married" to "none of your #$%@ business".

Facebook ~ that virtual place where people find it necessary to change their relationship status as often as they change their underwear. Before the smoke clears after a falling out with their Significant Other, they are "single". After only two dates they declare they are "in a relationship". In an effort to buck this trend, I have hereby decided to keep my relationship status under wraps. So no knee-jerk relationship updates.

As much as I rolled my eyes during the interview, I admire how coy, private, and protective Beyonce was about her relationship and subsequent marriage to Jay-Z. I'm not a bootilicious, International Super Star, but she taught me a thing or two about discretion (well - up until she felt up her Baby Bump on stage at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards). Rest assured: if I do meet a Mogul who steals my heart, you will hear it here first.

One Facebook friend said it best:

I'm not single and I'm not taken.
I'm simply on reserve for the person who deserves me.

Fall-n-Heroes

Maddening Mobility

Friends and family rejoiced when I announced that - at 5 years-old - Isaiah was a walker. One comment that stuck with me was, "Get your running shoes on now, Mama!" Little did I know not only would I need a pair of running shoes, but also nerves of steel, strength of a body builder, plus the agility and reflexes of a cat.

My son is small for his age, but is - like many kids with cerebral palsy - freakishly strong. I found just how strong when he rocketed me off of his feet the other day, a la Barnum and Bailey Circus. As a certified walker, he's not very sure-footed at times. And quite often he doesn't look where he is going. But I appreciate the fact Isaiah has strength and some control over his muscles. He is able to walk with a purpose. He can evade with a purpose, too.

Savannah doesn't typically allow him in her room. The other day, she forgot and left her door open. Little Brother made his way in. I stood in the doorway for a good 30 seconds while Isaiah outmaneuvered all of Savannah's attempts to wrangle him. He went left, he went right, he twirled circles, staying just out of her grasp. When it finally looked like her victory was at hand (she had hooked both of her arms under his), enter The Boneless Chicken. Isaiah went utterly and totally limp - collapsing into a lumpy pile on Savannah's floor. Poor girl looked so frustrated. And that lil' stinker looked so pleased with himself. I laughed until it hurt.

Talk about a mixed blessing. Zay is mobile, but non-verbal. So if we are leaving therapy and he decides he wants to stay longer, he can't say, "Hey Mommy, can I play in the waiting area for a few more minutes?" I get a healthy helping of Boneless Chicken. One of 2 things follow: (a) coaxing him to get up with a bribe from my purse or (b) grabbing him up and carrying him out in my arms. I could always wait until he's ready to get up, but life doesn't always run on Isaiah's Time. For that reason, I keep his stroller in the van at all times

I appreciate that Isaiah expresses himself. The way he communicates. I will continue to modify and adapt The World depending on the situation. He has taught me the value of patience and perspective.

And the value of a good circus act.

You Must Be This Tall to Ride

To say I've been riding The Emotional Roller Coaster lately would be an understatement. The highs and lows, dizzying at times. Unexpected twists and turns abound - taking my breath away. Plunged into sudden darkness only to be rocketed back into daylight.

Through it all, one thing is clear: I am still moving forward. Not always confident what's around the next bend, but strapped in, prayed up, and holding on tight for the ride.

Icing on the Cake

Sneaking frosting before it was time to blow out the candles was my typical birthday M.O. There's a picture of pinholes in the top of my 4th birthday cake (white with pink roses). Somehow I thought sticking one of my grandmother's sewing pins into the frosting and licking it off was a clever and clandestine method to sample the sweetness. The risk of getting my tongue punctured obviously outweighed by temptation.

When the time came, I poured myself into birthday planning for my own kids. Care and consideration going into every detail - the literal centerpiece being The Cake. But as the kids grew, so did the physical and emotional demands of Special Needs Parenting. Out of necessity and practicality, celebrations became simpler.

But in the coming year, I won't have to worry about The Cake. Icing Smiles, Inc. makes cake wishes come true for Special/Medical Needs children and their families. The bakers are local and turn out amazing custom creations for their most precious clients and their siblings. I was blown away by some of their incredible cakes - including a dragon birthday cake done for my friend's son that actually breathed FIRE. And they donate their time. The cakes are free.

Icing Smiles, Inc. has graciously accepted the challenge to wow my kids on their next birthdays, which means Mariah will be receiving her Dream Cake just a couple of months! And she has NO idea. Hopefully our baker can incorporate Mariah's Godzilla obsession in there somehow. I've got some ideas and I'm already dreaming up the themes for Isaiah's and Savannah's fantasy confections.

All birthdays are special. I am grateful there are people out their who understand the significance of what so many people take for granted - that their children will have a next birthday. The stress and sacrifice of their siblings. And want to make their dreams come true.

My personal Dream Cake? Haven't given it much thought. But based on my history, a giant Pin Cushion would seem appropriate.

Making it Work

I don't know how single Special Needs parents do it!

I don't know how Special Needs parents who work outside of the home do it!

~ posted by two Facebook Friends last week

I just finished cleaning up an epic toxic accident. Putting Isaiah on the potty and leaving him while I checked on dinner didn't turn out as stress-free as I had hoped. Because when he was ready to get up, he got up. Just because he was ready to get up didn't necessarily mean he was finished. So I spent a good part of my evening scrubbing tiles. Walls. Zaiah.

So when people ask me if I "work", excuse me if I scoff. I know what they want to know. If I am gainfully employed outside of the home. But I still like to make them squirm. "Work, you say? Where do I begin..."

Dinner still had to be completed and served. The laundry refused to transfer itself from the the washer to the dryer. Dishes had to be washed. Homework had to be accounted for. Of course, the Girls have responsibilities which makes me grateful that they are older now.

Especially now that I am considering a career outside of the home. My life is moving into a New Season. As God opens doors, I know the strength, faith, and courage He has been cultivating in me all along is coming to fruition.

How do single parents of Special Needs kids work outside of the house?

I have no idea. But if it is the Lord's plan for my life - I'll soon find out.

Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

Quiet Saturdays are our new "in thing". Nothing on The Calendar. No obligations. No showers necessary. All I ask is that the kids brush their teeth.

What matters is that my kids and I are spending quality time together. Our weekdays are filled. The three of them attending three different schools on three different schedules. Mix in Zay's various therapies, girls' homework, doctors' appointments, counseling sessions, etc...it's easy to see why we become Pajama-Clad Waffle Eaters a couple of Saturdays a month.

The kids have been back in school for well over a month now. Pulling Savannah out of public school last year is proving to be the best thing we could have done. Thank God for my mother. We weren't sure how Savannah would do with a full-day schedule. It would include Lunchtime. Which would mean crowds, noise, and eating in front of other people. With her Asperger's, that creates a nightmare trifecta. The day she hopped in the van and announced she had talked during lunch was the day my doubts melted away. She recently brought home her Progress Report - all "Excellent". The staff is so nurturing. And she is thriving.

Isaiah continues to push the boundaries of how much one can love a little boy. To hear people in our circle express their affection for him is beyond heart-warming. It's affirming. Makes me feel like I am not alone in caring for him. Few are immune to his big, toothy smile and loving disposition. The stubborn boy who, when faced with a task he'd rather not perform, will go completely and utterly boneless. As frustrating as it is (an act we've dubbed The Boneless Chicken), it is a testament to the will of a boy who has no words, but more than enough charm, wit, and personality to control the parts of His World he discovered he can. His communication for the past 6 months has been remarkable. He is making choices. He can express his discontent. He can bring me a banana for me to peel for him. And one day I was standing at the bathroom sink the and he teetered up behind me with a 6-pack of applesauce he wanted opened. When he wants a bath (one of FAVORITE things), he pushes me into the bathroom and shoves me to the side of the tub. He's taller and stronger, but more tolerant of new things. We found out from his teacher at Open House last week that he is staying in his chair and participates (read: cooperates) with the lesson.

Also wowing me this year? Mariah. She started a new school and is happier than she has been in almost two years. She is making good grades and new friends. She has expressed an interest in joining Chorus at school. I had no idea she could sing. That was until I heard her in her room one day singing along to a Godzilla video. Not only was she sweetly in tune, but she was singing IN JAPANESE. How did I get so preoccupied with the Special Needs Duo that I missed that The Typical One could sing ~ in a foreign language, no doubt?!

So I dedicate this Quiet Saturday to my Middle Child with a Heart of Gold.

Dōmo arigatō, Miss Roboto