Quaking in my Espadrilles

By most accounts, the Great East Coast Quake of 2011 wasn't a source of widespread devastation. It was considered a moderate and nearly unprecedented quake for this area according to the experts and a huge inconvenience for the locals. This is pretty much the extent of our damage.



Mechagodzilla is obviously more awesome than Regular Godzilla. But it wasn't all bad. I'm totally convinced the quake cured my garbage disposal. After a week of malfunctioning, it mysteriously began to work again after the quake.

A lot of the damage was emotional. I was sitting by a set of second-story windows waiting for Isaiah's therapy session to conclude. When the shaking started, I thought it was a central a/c unit about to blow. But the shaking grew more intense and the rumbling grew louder. I looked out of the window expecting to see a truck, a train, a plane...something. But nothing. It was a gorgeous, sunny day.

I rode out the quake petrified. Wanting to run, but not being able to move. In a flash,I thought about death. The office building was shaking and swaying in such an unfamiliar way that I knew it couldn't be anything good. I did not want to die - maybe it was the shock - but there was a peace surrounding me. I just wanted my kids to be OK.

No cell phone calls could go out immediately afterward, but I found out from my sister in Arizona via Facebook that my mom and Savannah were shaken, but fine. And my mom is apparently in the wrong professional. She should have pursued a career in body guarding. Or in the NFL. She didn't realize what was happening, but she knew she had to protect her granddaughter. So naturally, she tackled her. Mariah had been evacuated from her school and came home upset and concerned about possible aftershocks. We are still a bit unsettled over yesterday's events, so I was relieved they cancelled school today.

The earthquake gave me a crash course and what I know for sure is:

Earthquakes can fix things around the house

I am not truly afraid to die

My mother has a future with the Washington Redskins

Brownies Nation

Yes. Yes they do.

*Special shout-out to Jen in Cali for spotting this!

Leggo my Eggo. Seriously.

When people hear the term "comfort food", they automatically think potatoes, mac & cheese...typical carbs. Somehow, around the 24-pack-a-week mark, frozen waffles went from lovely, occasional breakfast fare to my drug of choice.

What can I say? They are perfect. Warm, light, and toasty. Crispy and tender all at once. Their sole purpose is to bring me happiness. Oh ~ and poundage. My clothes have been shrinking ever since I arrived at Waffletopia. But that's OK. The view from Celeryville is overrated anyway.

Be Cuz of Faith

Here I am on First Cousins' Weekend with my cousin, Michele ~ Master of Library Science. Thanks to her amazing accomplishments, she and her family have taken a huge leap of faith. Uprooting their lives and relocating, we are now not only emotionally close, but physically as well. God is good.

The Tortoise in My Hair

One unnerving thing about living in a metropolitan area is the nonstop pace. Everyone is always on the go and quickly. Not exactly ideal conditions for a turtle attempting to cross a street.

But last Wednesday was one turtle's Lucky Day. That was the day that I happened to be driving down said street and noticed what I initially thought was a dead leaf resting between the bright orange parallel lines.

I've seen squashed turtles before. There was a big one at the end of my driveway just last month. I couldn't do anything to save him, but I was sure I could do something for that brown leaf that - upon further investigation - turned out to be a strong-willed (if not GPS-challenged) baby Diamondback Terrapin.



Instead of relocating him right away, we decided to take him home. We created a makeshift terrarium and an acceptable Baby Turtle diet. After his initial reluctance to eat (chalk it up to shell shock - sorry!), I was as delighted as a first time mom to see his Turtle Turds in the box the next morning. And by then he even had a name: "Crush". Partial Disney character; partial his lack of being so.

He has since been adopted by my brother and his family and renamed "Horatio", which is, quite honestly, easier to remember and much more suitable to that innocent, wise-looking face of his. My nieces are excited about their newest addition (joining his Beta sibling). I'm just excited I'm not any closer to ending up on an Animal Planet hoarding special.

Too Blessed to be Distressed

There's a scene in the original "Shrek" movie after he frees Princess Fiona and they are confronted in the forest by the king's henchmen. But instead of getting kidnapped, Fiona proceeds to kick their butts - as Shrek and Donkey look on in amazement.

I can appreciate that scene. Too often females are portrayed as helpless, weak, and poor decision makers (who runs from a killer in high heels?!)

There have been times in my life when I have wanted to be delivered from an unpleasant or even dangerous situation. Sometimes I want a Hero. But more often than not - I want to find my own way out. To see if I have the level head and courage to make good decisions. Even if it's the decision that I am in over my head. Like last weekend when my van battery died while on an outing with the kids.

When I realized I had drained the battery, I sat. Sat and thought. That's all I could do. J was out of town. And I really didn't want to feel like he had to save me, anyway. Then I remembered my Auto Membership. They could get me jump-started in no time. It wasn't like I was admitting I was in distress. Just ill-equipped to handle that particular situation. Make no mistake: I didn't need to be "rescued".

It was just by sheer coincidence that the company they sent out had the logo "Rescue Auto" blazoned across the back window. Oh well. Whatever makes them feel good about themselves.

I've decided to invest in one of those portable battery chargers. Who knows, I just might end up someone else's unexpected, but very welcomed Knight-in-Shining-Armour.

Waiting for Boaz

For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to find someone, here's a quick piece of biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheatin-az, Dumb-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothin-az, Lazy-az or Married-az...and especially his 3rd Cousin Beatinyo-az!

-Bill Johnson

Ohana

#17

My maternal grandmother had 26 grandchildren. Almost all were able to gather this past weekend for our first ever "First Cousins" reunion. It was 3 days of activities designed to reconnect, reminisce, and most importantly - eat. It was the first time most of us had been together since Grannannie passed away a little over 2 years ago. We took the time to introduce our families and welcome my new sister-in-law. Thanks to our living overseas off-and-on for years, some hadn't seen my girls since they were babies. Most hadn't even met Isaiah.

But the love and laughter that enveloped us practically made up for lost time. They expressed more than just their love for the kids and me. They showed their support. Reassured me and rallied around me like a "Love Intervention". They reminded me of my special place not just in our Family, but in our World.

The love and laughter live on

Christmas in July

Well, not really. But a dose of winter weather would be welcome surprise right about now. We are in the middle of an oppressive heatwave that has kept the kids and me holed up daily until the sun goes down.

This picture was taken in early Spring of this year ~ when all I wished for was warmer temperatures.

All together now: be careful what you wish for.

Dirty Dancing

Now I had the time of my life.
And I never felt this way before.


This past Monday night, I boogied completely out of my comfort zone. Ladies' Night Out was ON and it promised to be a night to remember. My friend, Amy, suggested we all take her friend's new Pole Fitness class. Apparently, chair and pole dancing are going mainstream. They are considered a workout...as in exercise - something I am typically allergic to. But there was just something enticing about it. Like The Lambada. So that evening, seven sassy Mamas piled into two vehicles and we headed over to the studio. And you know what?

These Mamas got skillz.



I embraced my inner "Lola" (that's her smack dab in the middle wearing black) and actually broke a sweat. Beth and Carrie from Polar Fitness were excellent instructors. So patient and encouraging - I almost forgave them for their ridiculously incredible physiques. After two hours of getting our shake, shimmy, and spins on, the Sassy Seven emerged a lot more confident and a little bit sore. We loaded back up and headed out for a nightcap at Sonic. Could this night have gotten any better?

Turns out, sitting around eating greasy onion rings and sipping a Cherry Limeade (with extra cherry flavor!) in the company of great women does make things better. Sharing our faith, our trials, triumphs - stories of healing and restoration was a source of comfort for me (one mom's blended family of 10 was especially interesting to me). Sometimes I worry about losing my married friends after my divorce. I have been coupled for 19 years - married for 16 of those. I've never been single my entire adult life. Now, my relationships are going to be different. My lifestyle is going to be different.

Along with *ahem* exercise, I'm making better choices health-wise. Like drinking more water. Which is a big deal for me because if I had the choice of milk, water, or orange juice with my dinner, my preference - in this particular order - would be (1) orange juice (2) milk (with Hershey syrup added) (3) make a pitcher of Kool-Aid (4) run down to CVS for a ginger ale (5) call Mom and see if I can swing by her house for some cranberry juice (6) choke down the water. But "Fiji" water has changed the game. I could afford a trip to Fiji for the amount of money I spend on this brand, but the taste canNOT be beat.

And I am not just flossing after I eat pork chops. I'm flossing twice a day. Sometimes more (especially if I eat pork chops). Now I don't have to fib to the dental hygienist. My doctors are happy that I am eating. Been craving fresh fruits and vegetables, too. I need to gain - get up to a healthier weight. But they haven't explained to me how to get those pounds where I want them. If it involves a chair or a pole, though, count me in.

We Fall Down, But We Get Up

Separation. Anxiety.

By sharing My Story, I pray someone is inspired, touched, encouraged, comforted, filled with hope, and truly blessed. This isn't about "putting my business in the street" ~ it's about knowing you are not alone.


I walked into the office with an agenda. Little did I know just showing up for that appointment would save my life.

Savannah and I were meeting with her new pediatric therapist - the therapist who eventually referred Savannah to "The Team" for a full evaluation which led to her Asperger's Syndrome diagnosis. As the questions for Savannah wrapped up and the therapist's attention turned to me, I could feel dread slowly creeping up on me. As she lobbed all the obvious questions at me, I knew it would only be a matter of time before she'd hit on that one that would strike a nerve. And sure enough, it happened.

She excused Savannah to the waiting area and shut the door behind her. She handed me a box of Kleenex: Before we can deal with what's going on with Savannah, we need to deal with you. If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

That's when I let go. The Super Mom facade shattered. Before I could stop myself, I had let a stranger into my dark place of emotions - opening up about my crumbling marriage, the constant and total care of Isaiah, and Savannah's recent school and social issues. The trifecta that had pushed me to the edge. "You are overwhelmed. You are depressed. You need help.", she confirmed. I wanted to kiss her. Finally - validation. I am NOT crazy OR losing my mind. God had sent me an angel. He doesn't always boom answers into our ear. Sometimes He puts people in our path just when we need them most.

Thus began my coping. When dealing with depression and anxiety, research has shown that the best results are obtained through therapy plus medication. It's been a winning recipe for me, with a healthy and reverent dose of faith and prayer. I am healing. I am happier than ever leading the life God wants for me. It is an upward spiral through the depression, with every day a little better than the one before. Not that there haven't been setbacks. But I take comfort in knowing "this too shall pass". I am not alone. I thank God for my Support System, that seems ever-expanding. I am focusing on me. The gifts God has given me. The next chapter of my life.

There's hope. As long as there is breath in your body, you have hope. Things might not turn out exactly as you might expect them - very often they turn out better than you could ever imagine.

Believe.

Cause if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.