The following conversation took place last week after I picked up my 14 year-old from school:
S: Today I heard that a boy likes me.
Me: (Trying not to drive off the road. Blink. Swallow hard. Breathe.)
Me: Oh really ? (Keep calm and keep her talking) Do you like him?
S: I don't like him like that.
Me: Well, remember to respect yourself and make sure he respects you. He hasn't made a move on you, has he?
S: NO. Could we talk about something else?
Me: Well, he'd better keep his hands to himself.
S: (Putting in her earbuds, probably ascertaining the risks of jumping out of a moving car)
Me: But I can see why he would like you. You are witty, funny, beautiful - I know if I were an 8th grade boy --
S: (Dying. Visibly.)
Me: Too weird?
S: Uh, yeah.
Me: Good talk.