"I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"

Really?

How does that happen? I KNOW I am not pregnant right now. And I am absolutely sure I would know if I was. I am 3 for 3 in the "I-think-I'm-pregnant-oh-look-the-test-is positive" game.

Call me a cynic, but that television show on the Discovery Health channel is either filled with mothers-to-be who have the worst cases of denial ever or it is actually possible to not know you are pregnant until the baby lands squarely in the toilet.

All women are different; each pregnancy is unique. I get that. But even if a doctor tells you or your significant other that one or both of you are unable to conceive, there are just some things you are going to notice. Like a missing period for 9 months. No matter how erratic my cycle has been the last 30+ years, I have yet to go close to a year without a period. Unless I was pregnant. Or nursing.

I could even understand missing or mistaking the first few flutters of movement. But well into the second trimester, the "it's just gas" explanation just ain't going to fly. I could see my kids' tiny elbows and knees move across my swollen belly--from the outside. How could someone not notice that?! That is not bad Chinese food, lady! Get to a doctor!

Which brings me to another point: my pregnant silhouette was unmistakable. People claimed I didn't look pregnant from the back with my first pregnancy, but there was no mistaking what was going on when you saw the front or side view. Savannah looked like a smuggled basketball shoved up my shirt. Note: that's not Savannah poking out in the picture. That is actually Isaiah at 36 weeks. Yes, polyhydramnios can turn you into a circus freak.

So I guess I have to concede that it's not unheard of deliver a baby without even knowing you're pregnant. Obviously it happens. It's not like this is Season One of this show--

Hate to cut this short, but I think my water just broke!