Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
~ Forrest Gump's Mama
One of the most beautiful things about my three children is how very different they look from one another. Some people seem confused when the pieces of our family are separate. But once they see us all together, I can almost hear the "ah-ha" moment occur in their brains.
Savannah, supposedly, looks like me. Mariah looks like J. And without missing a beat, the first thing J said to me in the delivery room when Isaiah was born was that he looked like Savannah. (The geneticist has since denounced that theory, noting he doesn't resemble anyone in our family. Bah. What does she know?)
Three very different babies from the same two parents. Three unique personalities that conflict and compliment each other all at once. Isaiah is adventurous. Mischievous. Curious and loving. Mariah is affectionate, humorous, and warm. Savannah is sweet, thoughtful, and extremely creative. She is also what we always thought was super shy.
Through the years, Savannah's lack of peer relationships has become more apparent. But again, I chalked it up to her being painfully shy. We sought outside resources to help her deal with the shyness and anxiety. But her therapist saw something more -not wanting to pile my already full plate, but she had a very strong opinion as to what we were seeing in Savannah. So she began investigating and felt an extensive evaluation was warranted. We consented. And then we got the news: Savannah has Asperger's Syndrome.
Funny thing, she looks the same. Still breathtaking. She still tells the same dry jokes. And laughs at them. She still wrestles with her brother until one of them is begging for mercy. She still annoys her sister by knocking on her bedroom door and leaving before she answers. Still the Daddy's Girl who will creep out of her bed to see him if he comes home late from a mission.
But now she's "Autistic". High-functioning and doing remarkably well - blossoming - at her new school, yet still labeled. I wish I could say I was shocked. Twinge of sadness, but not necessarily shock. A mama knows what a mama knows and from Day 1, I knew there was something quirky about my firstborn child. And now it has a name. With that name comes resources. And support. And as far as I am concerned, some peace.
In the box of Life's Chocolates, I have been delighted with the sweetness of some pieces and gagged on the unexpected bitterness of others. Expecting the worst doesn't leave me cowering from life's next challenge.
Because it's all still chocolate after all.