I hate this part.

James hasn't even left for Iraq yet and I already miss him.

Maybe that's because I have seen him approximately 2 hours during the last 2 weeks. The training is really taking its toll. It hurts to admit this, but it would actually be easier if he weren't physically here. To be physically present-a few short miles away at the training area- and still missing out on our lives is nothing short of torture. He's absent from the most mundane things, like tucking in the kids and sitting down for dinner to the big things, like Isaiah's photo shoot and Savannah's awards assembly and promotion ceremony. The kids didn't see him once on Father's Day.

The few precious moments James and I have managed to share have been riddled with stupid arguments. The experts call it distancing --a phenomenon that occurs when a loved one is preparing to leave. It's supposed to psychologically dull the pain of saying goodbye--a hard hat for the heart, so to speak. Whatever it is, it stinks. We've done this song and dance before. It should get easier, right?

I know it's way too far in the game for things to return to normal. All I want is some quality time--when we're not fighting, when he's not exhausted, when I'm not being a witch.

I hope we get that chance soon...he leaves in 3 days.

A Father Every Day

When we found out we were expecting Savannah, James' ill mother wept tears of joy. She whispered to me, "James is going to be a wonderful father!" But I already knew that.

My mother-in-law passed away several weeks later, but I know in my heart she is looking down on her son ~ a father of 3 now ~ and can't help but smile as she whispers in my ear, "I told you so."

Happy Fathers' Day to my husband, who was a loving, attentive, and dedicated Black father long before our President made it look cool. ;)

Fair to Middlin'

Our brand new "graduate" is on her way to middle school.

My Inspirational Artist

My Mini Me has made me mega proud. I'm actually proud of all 3 Brownies, but Savannah gets an extra piece of birthday cake tonight for receiving not one, not two, but six awards at the school wide awards ceremony today. I knew in advance (and in secret) that she would be receiving 2 awards, but the fact that she received so many more does a mama's heart good.

My shy, sweet child who was diagnosed with a learning disability 3 years ago brought home 2 awards for community service (including one for her participation as a "Wheelchair Driver" at the school), an award for her work in the after school program, the Principal's Award for Outstanding Achievement in All Areas, the Great Artist honor, and my favorite: the Inspirational Student Award, for which she was the sole recipient. Here's a video clip of her accepting it:



Is my beaming blinding yet? ;)

My Baby Daddy's Birthday

The love of my life doesn't celebrate birthdays. Well, he "celebrates" mine and the kids', but don't dare and try to surprise him with a balloon bouquet or a singing telegram. (He says it's because his heart is 2 sizes too small, a la "The Grinch", but I don't believe that for a minute).

But how could I not acknowledge his birthday? I promised no cards or gifts, but I said nothing in reference to The Blog.

So Happy Birthday to my best friend...the person I want to run "The Amazing Race" with...the man I want to sip my creamed corn with when we are old and toothless...my man since we met 17 years ago...my husband, James.

Introducing: Our Littlest Hero

Isaiah is now one of the newest Littlest Heroes thanks to one of the Greatest Photographers.

James' training spilled over into our weekend, so the kids and I met Trina Gueck Saturday at Point Defiance Park for Isaiah's Littlest Heroes Project photo shoot. I instantly knew we had made the right choice. Isaiah took to her right away. Trina's calm and patient demeanor paved the way to easy smiles and natural poses. Even when a re-enactment of the 2008 Christmas card shoot took place in front of a huge fir tree, Trina laughed with us and like a true professional, kept the camera clicking.

As part of the project, Trina will be sending us a CD with all of the pictures she took. I can hardly wait to see them all! In the meantime, she has posted a Sneak Peek on her photography blog:

http://www.photosbytrinagueck.com/

To see a few pictures from our session, you just need to click on "Enter Blog".

We are thoroughly delighted with our experience with Trina. And to top it off, she made us feel like she was grateful for our chosing her.

Thank you for sharing your gift with us, Trina! You are amazing!

June 13, 2004

...was the day my son was born and our lives changed forever.

It had been a long, hard road ~ a pregnancy filled with jubilation and heartache. The end result was a baby so precious, I was devastated when he couldn't come home with us right away. But even as he lay in the NICU, his place in our family was firmly rooted in our hearts. And even though the last 5 years have been challenging, they have also been unbelievably rewarding. We can't remember life before Isaiah and we can't imagine life without him.

I love you, Isaiah James. Happy 5th Birthday, my beautiful boy.

Ordered Steps

James has orders for the White House ~ his official orders. They had been sitting in his work e-mail since June 3. I have read them a million times so far. Seeing everything in black and white makes it all finally feel real...like this is really going to happen for us.

Of course, there's James' whole "vacation in the sand" first, but that hasn't stopped us from planning ahead. Now that we have official orders, we can arrange for housing. We can finish researching the school system and begin calling on all of our contacts and connections.

We sure didn't get to where we are the way WE thought we would have. But here we are---not leaning on our understanding. And thanking the Lord every step of the way.

The packers are scheduled to arrive here at 8:00am on December 1, 2009. The movers will follow shortly thereafter....:)

Another One Bites the Dust

Sorry, Christy! I get an "F" for originality. What can I say? You nailed it. :)

One of Isaiah's two loose teeth finally surrendered this weekend. I was shocked at how emotional his losing it made me. My little boy is growing up...losing teeth...turning 5 this week and all.

What's a mama to do?

Train Ups

...not to be confused with training pants or Pull Ups.

"Train Ups" are the briefings and training exercises soldiers partake in the weeks leading up to a deployment. They work extra hours -even on the weekends- to make sure they are thoroughly prepared to embark on their perilous journey overseas.

We are now entering that window.

It's frustrating because now would seem the time for the soldier to spend as much time with his family as possible. I am just grateful for the amazing Spring Break we shared as a family. I understand why they do it the way they do. The danger over there is still very real. The bad guys don't care if James is doing a 4 to 6-month deployment instead of a year. They still have their orders, too.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about my husband's safety. But worrying won't keep him out of harm's way. So I pray. And I pray some more. God has been faithful. Deployments can make or break a marriage...a family. Faith has kept us together. God has put commitment in our hearts. With every deployment, we have gotten closer to God and closer to each other. We thank God for giving us the strength ~ the strength to withstand being separated in body while remaining joined by our hearts.

And in a few short weeks, this old heart of mine will be breaking. Yet again.

Hurry safely back to me, Honey. We have a date to keep with The White House.

Isaiah: All I Want for My Birthday...

...is my two front teeth.

Isaiah's top two front teeth are loose ~ one precariously so. I was hoping he'd still have his top baby teeth for his Littlest Heroes photo shoot last weekend. And he would have. Fortunately, Trina was fantastic about rescheduling the shoot. We're going to do it in 2 weeks ~ on Isaiah's actual 5th birthday! I can hardly wait.

I hope his teeth can, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

(You can still sneak a peek at Trina's work here!)

Back to My Life

I came home last night to 3 intact children, a hubby who cooked dinner, and a spotless house. My crew survived the weekend without me--just like I knew they would. Maybe I should get away more often...

My weekend on the East Coast for my grandmother's funeral was bittersweet. The sting of the realization that Grandnannie is truly gone was tempered with the joy of reconnecting with so many of my loved ones. Grandnannie was well-respected and the outpouring of love and admiration made it obvious.

As a treat to myself, I decided to upgrade to First Class on the flight back to Seattle. It was absolutely worth it. Did you know they address you as "MR." or "MRS." __________ <--insert your last name here?! I was totally amused by this. I have flown a kazillion times before, but I've always had The Brownies in tow. First Class had become a fleeting dream that seemed to pass me by as easily as I had passed by those coveted first rows of seating on my way to coach.

I felt guilty at first. Maybe this was a frivolous waste of money ~ in a recession, no less! But I swallowed hard, shifted my weight in my oversized leather seat, stretched out my legs, like--A MILE in front of me, spread out my Sunday edition of The Washington Post, smiled as the Milano cookie touched my lips, and thought to myself: I'm just doing my part to help stimulate the economy. And it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.


I had to capture this precious moment. They are just a few of my grandmother's 45+ great-grandchildren.



Cousins!


Hopefully, this is a one of the scenes we'll be seeing a lot more of soon...


The view from my First Class upgrade. Yeaaaah, boyeeeee!