Strength, Courage, and Wisdom

Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that I've been hiding for much too long
'Cause I've been, too afraid to let it show
'Cause I'm scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow
It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face
It's been elusive for so long, but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith, It's time to show my face
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found

Strength, courage, and wisdom
And it's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me

Behind my pride there lives a me, that knows humility
Inside my voice there is a soul, and in my soul there is a voice
But I've been too afraid to make a choice
'Cause I'm scared of the things that I might be missing
Running too fast to stop and listen

It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face
It's been elusive for so long but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith it's time to show my face
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found

I close my eyes and I think of all the things that I want to see
'Cause I know, now that I've opened up my heart I know that
Anything I want can be, so let it be, so let it be:.

Strength, courage, and wisdom
It's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, wisdom
It's been inside of me all along, everyday I'm praying for:

I found it in me, I found it finally
I'm sure to keep it cause I like it, I say thank you

~ India Arie

Today as I celebrate my thirty-muffled birthday, I thank God for everything. The good and the not-so-good. The triumphs and the heartbreak. Because nothing that has brought me to this day has killed me. In fact, I am stronger. I am wiser. And I now have the courage to live my life to the fullest.

The best is yet to come - this I know for sure. 'Cause strength, courage and wisdom have been inside of me all along.

Babies Booming: Part 1

I mentioned last year how so many of my friends were expecting in 2011. Well, spring has sprung and those little chicks have begun to hatch.

I'm pleased to announce the arrivals of Kate, Liam, Lillian, Lorali , and Zachary - the first wave of new babies this year, with 2 more due in the coming weeks.

Congratulations, Mamas, Papas, Big Sisters, and Big Brothers!

P.S. for April 7, 2011: I've had to edit this post twice! Lorali and Zachary were both born yesterday.

My New Shirt

Because raisins don't belong in food items. Ever.

Asperger's? No - I said how much for a "Hamburger"

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

~ Forrest Gump's Mama



One of the most beautiful things about my three children is how very different they look from one another. Some people seem confused when the pieces of our family are separate. But once they see us all together, I can almost hear the "ah-ha" moment occur in their brains.

Savannah, supposedly, looks like me. Mariah looks like J. And without missing a beat, the first thing J said to me in the delivery room when Isaiah was born was that he looked like Savannah. (The geneticist has since denounced that theory, noting he doesn't resemble anyone in our family. Bah. What does she know?)

Three very different babies from the same two parents. Three unique personalities that conflict and compliment each other all at once. Isaiah is adventurous. Mischievous. Curious and loving. Mariah is affectionate, humorous, and warm. Savannah is sweet, thoughtful, and extremely creative. She is also what we always thought was super shy.

Through the years, Savannah's lack of peer relationships has become more apparent. But again, I chalked it up to her being painfully shy. We sought outside resources to help her deal with the shyness and anxiety. But her therapist saw something more -not wanting to pile my already full plate, but she had a very strong opinion as to what we were seeing in Savannah. So she began investigating and felt an extensive evaluation was warranted. We consented. And then we got the news: Savannah has Asperger's Syndrome.

Funny thing, she looks the same. Still breathtaking. She still tells the same dry jokes. And laughs at them. She still wrestles with her brother until one of them is begging for mercy. She still annoys her sister by knocking on her bedroom door and leaving before she answers. Still the Daddy's Girl who will creep out of her bed to see him if he comes home late from a mission.

But now she's "Autistic". High-functioning and doing remarkably well - blossoming - at her new school, yet still labeled. I wish I could say I was shocked. Twinge of sadness, but not necessarily shock. A mama knows what a mama knows and from Day 1, I knew there was something quirky about my firstborn child. And now it has a name. With that name comes resources. And support. And as far as I am concerned, some peace.

In the box of Life's Chocolates, I have been delighted with the sweetness of some pieces and gagged on the unexpected bitterness of others. Expecting the worst doesn't leave me cowering from life's next challenge.

Because it's all still chocolate after all.

What I Learned at Camp Schmidt

1. First of all, there are no bunnies in the woods.



2. A campfire is better than Prozac.



3. S'mores are underrated. They should be a food group. Seriously. Yummy.



4.Ghost stories and hayrides in the dark can still scare the bejeesus out of me.

5. Dawn is a gorgeous, powerful time of day. But I'm still not a morning person.



6.Clear, odorless, moving water is probably potable. But you might want to strain it through your teeth first.



7. Sometimes getting lost is half the fun.



8. Fifth-grade girls can survive on very little sleep. They rest long enough to recharge their mouth muscles. Cuz they talk. A lot.

9. When it comes to friendships, my child has impeccable taste.



10. If Mariah was stranded in the woods with her classmates and the only way out was to swing on a vine over quicksand without so much as touching the quicksand, I'd never see my child again.



11. Spending time with my middle child in the middle of nowhere was worth the sleepless night, the taste of camp food, and the haunted hayride-induced heart palpitations.

From Russia with Love

You've heard of the "Black Russian" (the drink, the bagel), but have you met the "Smiling Black Russian"?


J recently returned from an assignment in Moscow with Vice-President Biden. Even though we feel like we've traveled the world, Russia has never been on our radar. J brought back pictures and souvenirs that made the kids and I feel like we were there (and enough toiletries from the swanky hotel to smell like we were!)


J at Red Square


St. Basil's


Ice, ice, Basil's


Crystal Basil's - one of my gifts


Musical Basil's - one of Savannah's gifts


Babushka Babies - another gift. J brought back a set for everyone.


When in Russia, what else do you get the Eagles' biggest fan (*Savannah*)?

One Foot, Two Feet...

...Isaiah's two new feet



Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss!

The Bounceable Bunch

Resilient people identify those who are available, trustworthy, and helpful. Then they go towards that light.

~ Dr. Dina Carbonell in "The Bounce Back Book" by Karen Salmansohn

One of my assignments from this book was to identify ten people in my life I consider friends. And then ask the questions: who is 100% rooting for me to live my happiest life and not competing or jealous and who do I always feel happier visiting - not more depressed? Those who make the cut would be considered my support system. The peeps I'd like to call my "Bounceable Bunch of Besties".

There are more than ten people I can count on in my life. But I was intrigued by the eleven names that sprang to mind...and by the ones that didn't. Despite my 200+ Facebook "friends", I know who has my back. And what an eclectic bunch they are: relatives, Army wife buddies from various duty stations through the years, moms from parenting groups I've belonged to (in fact, #12 is a parenting group) - old friends and a brand new one. A few of the BBB's I've never even met in real life. But they all share the same real qualities. It's clear who I can call, text, or post to in full crisis mode. I know who is going to listen with an open heart and allow me to find my way - even if she doesn't agree. I know who resists the temptation to judge.

I'm blessed and don't take my Bunch for granted. I've always believed that having good friends requires being a good friend. So it doesn't matter to me if I'm #1 or #10 on a friend's BBB list. Just as long as my name is there.

Bounceable Bunch - bounce on.

Little Angels

As I tucked in Isaiah last night, one family I have come to know through my Special Needs Support Group had said their final goodbyes to a precious child - and another family was preparing to. Two amazing girls who both fought unique medical battles - battles that ended both their young lives entirely too soon.

I cannot imagine losing a child. I take that back. I can imagine it, but not for too long. Not before I begin to lose it. But my faith reminds me that children aren't ours to keep. When God calls them back up to Heaven for whatever reason, we have faith that their lives have served a purpose. And that's where we should find comfort.

But I'm selfish. I'm human. I love my babies. I want them here with me.

Just like Ellie Mae's mama and Emilie's mama wanted to keep them close to them. I'd like to believe Ellie Mae welcomed Emilie into Heaven early this morning. Took her by the hand and said she would show her around. I'd like to think they skipped off together - something their earthly bodies had not allowed. And then Ellie Mae showed Emilie her wings. And then showed her how to fly.

I'd like to think that.

Table for 1

A friend of mine from high school organized a Ladies Night Out for her girlfriends last night. Knowing that adult conversation, laughs, and good food & drink were on the horizon kept an armed me out of bell towers all week.

Unfortunately, at the very last minute - she had to back out. The other ladies didn't feel comfortable celebrating a night out when the "tie that binds us" had taken ill, so it was postponed. At the very last minute. J had already arranged to leave work early to spend a "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" evening with the kids. So I was still going out. But who on Earth would be available to hang out on such short notice?

Turns out, I'm pretty good company.

I decided to take the opportunity to scope out restaurants for my upcoming birthday celebration. I've asked all my local friends to save the date - we're going to party like it's 1999. Just have to find the perfect venue.

It was an unusually mild winter's night, so National Harbor was abuzz. After stepping out of the parking garage into the breezy hustle and bustle, I felt on top of the world. Riding solo and enjoying it. Able to browse the exclusive boutiques without little hands grabbing at the racks. I could squeeze into tight aisles and spaces. And I could linger over dangly, sparkly items as long as I wanted.

On the enthusiastic recommendation of a very helpful salesman, I settled on the first restaurant to review. Good choice, as the line was long as I approached the hostess stand. I walked up and proudly proclaimed I needed a table for ONE - confident I'd be seated and finished eating before these couples' and groups' buzzers had even gone off. All my hopes were dashed when I was informed the wait time would be close to an hour. Undeterred and not willing to go back into the brisk ever-increasingly windy night - I stayed. Sat down and took in my surroundings. Women seemed to hold their men closer. I wonder if I ever did that with J. No worries, ladies. The last thing I need right now is your man.

When my buzzer went off signaling my table was ready, I was led through a maze of diners until arriving at a table - being set for four. The hostess whispered to the waiter,

"Uno."

"Uno?"

"Si, UNO."

I didn't know whether to be flattered or embarrassed by his inability to process I'd be dining alone. After he cleared away the three extra settings he had just placed and I sat down, I grew less self-conscious. It actually felt good being there alone. Maybe it was my fruity drink, but the whole situation became empowering to me. Sexy and strong me. Charming and relaxed. Flirty and fun. I even asked the couple at the table next to me if they wanted me to take their picture. It was obvious they were trying to document their date before their baby is born.

Twenty year-old Sharon would have been mortified eating alone at an upscale restaurant on a Friday date night. But Close-to-40 Sharon had pity for the people who have never had the experience. You have to know who are to be comfortable in that scenario. You have to be okay with you. And you have to have a sister-in-law who entertains your "super-lightweight" texts. (Love ya, Tiana!)

One is definitely not the loneliest number. As far as I am concerned, it's the strongest.

The Look of Love

And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:13

Forget the Klondike Bar: What I Did for a Cherry Limeade

That's me. At Sonic. Yesterday. I drove over 100 miles round trip for one of these babies:



Yep - the infamous Cherry Limeade. Because we don't happen to live near a Sonic, it's been almost a year since I've had one (we stopped at a Sonic in Hampton Roads last Spring during a family visit). When we lived in Washington state, they eventually built a Sonic not far from where we were stationed. A Sonic we enjoyed until we moved...less than a year later. Surely Sonic would be plentiful back East.

Uh, no.

So no spontaneous trips to Sonic for us. Nope - driving that far takes planning. And a full tank of gas. Mariah said I packed the van like we were going camping. I'd like to think I was just being prepared.

The kids and I had a blast. Not only did we find and enjoy Sonic goodies, but to my absolute delight this was anchored at the nearby shopping center:



Best.

Day.

Ever.